This is a complex question. Live sound guy for some decades (not any longer, thank god) here.
Typically we reach for EQ before dynamics to combat feedback. And we try to get the best optimum settings with all the sad notchy compromises that we can, during sound check. Do you get a sound check? I hope. And then that is at least a good starting point before the room fills up with water bags (humans) and changes the resonance.
If I were in your shoes flying solo with no FOH or monitor guy/gal, I’d have notch filters, a gate setup and limiter (compression can actually increase feedback, hard limiting can’t cure it but sets a ceiling at least) all in the mic chain and ready to implement. Assuming you have a free hand.
I can post one of my “feedback ferret” patches if it’s helpful, but since you’re a veteran VCV advanced fellow, I can just describe it. (I use this technique to tame resonance on feedback-y patches). (Feedback Ferret was an actual hardware Peavey device, then a knockoff by Behringer, that sort of did what it was meant to do, but in a very non-musical and destructive way.)
So you use whatever note-detect module you like (entrian Follower, sapphire Env, cvFunk Tuner) to get the spikey frequency. High pass or other filtering as needed. And then sometimes I end up using a +1 or -1 volt offset to nail it best. Generally you do best making the notch at the lowest octave possible.
And send that to a notch filter (Dave’s new multimode filter is all I’ve used for the past month for that!) obviously with your CV from the note-detect as the notch frequency. Certainly a slew limiter on the note CV so you don’t hear the notch bouncing harshly around (at the expense of a bit more ringing maybe).
Clever additions: multiple iterations or polyphony to notch multiple frequencies of feedback. Now you can really destroy your live sound with a heavy hand. Also, control the depth of the notch by another pathway determining the relative intensity of the bad frequency vs the full spectrum. I use a couple instances of Bog Follow for this – another tool here is Flag Oppressor Env.
That last is a paid module, which brings me to a quick n dirty solution – Flag Oppressor Pro. It has a duck mode, and 10 bands is not a full solution for real surgery here, but if I had 20 seconds to make an anti-feedback patch, that would be it.
And then with the gating – your frustrations with VCV modules slamming too hard/fast – start throwing slew limiters in the path. Also, like compression (and like my notch filter situation as described) it doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing solution. I assume you’re familiar with ‘NY compression’ aka parallel compression. Same with gates; you can have a gate that’s more crude than you like and add dry signal to soften.
Equal parts art and science on this topic. Get 2 sound guys/gals talking about this and you’ll have 3 or more strident opinions! Good luck, good gig!